Beard trimmers with friggin' laser beams on them.
Philips revolutionary new laser guided bomb
By James York, 12 September 2013
Useful things, lasers. Since their invention in 1958 they've proven to be one of the most versatile technologies humanity has ever conceived. They can blow up blackheads, remove unwanted body hair, aid brain surgeons, improve your eyesight, guide bombs, shoot down Scuds and superheat water to the point of fusion*. (*Source: Chain Reaction, Keanu Reeves.) Now you can add "help trim beards" to that prestigious list.
Meet the Philips Beard Trimmer 9000. Not only does it sound like something out of a sci-fi movie, it's also the first laser-guided trimmer ever made. (In the world, ever.)
To keep you on track, the tool projects a neat little red line of light on the cheek, jawline or neck - right where you want to crop. Philips claim that this unique feature will solve the problems that blight men: wonky sideburns and a lack of symmetrical beardless. In our opinion, two of the primary reasons why you aren't dating Katy Perry.
Research for this weapon of shaving began way back in 2009 when Philips boffins decided they didn't use enough lasers in their kit (and they could expense Star Wars Blu Rays to wrap their mind around the problem.)
“We regularly talk to men about grooming, and help with precision and symmetrical styling is something that regularly came up. We looked into this and quickly identified it would need to be a light or laser guide,” explains Jon Weait, Philips UK Male Grooming Marketing Manager.
“As a next step we worked with these men to establish the desired shape, angle, thickness, width, colour, etc, ultimately landing on this concept. We then needed to crack the technical challenge of actually realizing it, as it would of course need to be easy to use, very safe, high quality, affordable and durable.” He added.
And there you have it. Philips sat there for years, finding a way to laser your face and, hey presto, here's the result. It's sleek, attractive, cutting-edge and yours for only £100.
Look out for Gillette and other shaving rivals to use lasers in one shape or form. They can't physically make the razors any slimmer or sharper - at least not usefully. Trust us, we've seen the evidence.