How to know when you know

Is she really marriage material?

By Tiffany Wright, 25 October 2012

Finding ‘the one’ might sound like something your other half would read about in Cosmo, but there are times when it applies to gents, too. After all, you are the one expected to front three month's earnings to get the rock on that hand. But how do you know if the one you are with is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? We have devised six questions you should ask yourself before asking her if she’ll be your wife.

1. Has the relationship gone smoothly from the onset? We all know those couples who make up, break up and make up again, but if you’re considering marriage you don’t want to have had such a turbulent relationship from the start. “Being in a relationship that grows without any major dramas such as unhealthy jealousy or extreme emotion shows you that the two of you can maintain a strong unity minus the constant break up/makeup,” says relationship expert Rochelle Peachy from “If a relationship starts without any dramas the likelihood is that it will continue that way, even into married life.”

2. Does she get along with my friends and family? She doesn’t have to get along with ALL of your friends all of the time, but it is a warning sign if your girlfriend doesn’t not mix well with your family and friends. “You family are the ones who bought you up and essentially created you into the person you are. Your friends are people who you have chosen because they have the same values as you,” says Peachy. “If your friends and family don’t like your girlfriend then it could be a red flag that they are seeing something in her that maybe you haven’t noticed.”

3. Is there anything I want to change about her? We’re talking BIG things – not the fact she leaves her clothes all over the bedroom or takes hours to get ready. “If there is something significant you want to change about her then see this as a red flag,” warns Peachy. “If you hate the way she always complains about your upbringing, or it irritates you how she loves staying in instead of going out, then she probably isn’t the girl for you.”

Is she the one?

You know when you know. But how do you know if you know? You know when you know, you know. (Of course.)

4. Is she one of my best friends? You’ve probably got your best mate from childhood, but can you talk to your girlfriend about important issues too? “When you marry someone you are likely to experience lots of ups and downs through life so you need to be able to talk to her about how you’re feeling,” explains Peachy. “She needs to be the person you can turn to when you’re feeling down.”

5. Is she independent enough? When you started dating her chances are she had her own social life and friends. “If your woman has suddenly lost all of her independence since being with you, this is a warning sign,” says Peachy. “If you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone you want them to be able to have a life, away from you too. Despite being man and wife, this doesn’t mean either of you have to lose your independence.”

6. Does the thought of marrying her scare you? “If it does, it’s not right,” says Peachy. "Simple."

(We humbly request that no jilted women troll our comments following this story... If he's not the one, he's not the one either.)


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